I have just been voted in as Minister of youth and families at Amelia Baptist Church in Amelia Island, FL. Great church. Great worship service. Great pastor. Those of you who know me are probably thinking that this youth pastor job is coming out of nowhere. I have been mostly looking at head pastorate jobs in my search for a ministry position.

However, truth be told, I have been praying that God would allow me to be an associate pastor and get under a pastor who is older (and wiser) than I am, but at the same time understand and agree with my philosophy of ministry. Well, the dozen youth pastor jobs I’ve looked into always ended up being a difference in philosophies.  That is, until I met that pastor (Neil Helton) at Amelia Baptist. He and I agree on enough that I felt comfortable accepting the job as youth pastor.

What drew Pastor Neil to me was my philosophy of youth ministry. Although the church is in transition and not everyone is totally on board with it, the church at least felt confident enough to see that this could be the future direction of the church. I have written out my philosophy of youth ministry to be shared with the blogosphere. Feel free to critique it. (And in case you’re wondering, it is going to be in the same vein as Rethink by Steve Wright.) Oh, and this statement includes children because, after all, I am pastor of youth and families.

Philosophy of Family Ministry
Nathan and Amy DeFalco

 

 

Authoritative Source

The Bible is not only without error, it is all-sufficient for guiding us in every area of faith and conduct. It is also our first and final authority for every area of faith and conduct. Because it is sufficient and authoritative for guiding families, we need to look to the Bible first for guidance, as well as we need to be discerning of any source outside the Bible that claims authoritative guidance for families. Any outside source that contradicts, ignores, or denies the wisdom of scripture in regard to the family, should be rejected.

 

Parents

The Bible teaches us that the family is a whole unit and should be treated as a whole unit. The head of the family is the father, with both father and mother being ordained by God to be the primary discipler of their children. They are the primary teacher concerning doctrine, behavior, and the ins and outs of daily life. When the father is not present, the mother is to assume head of the household and, with the help of God and the church, be the provider and nurturer of the home. It is important to the spiritual life of the child that their parents bring their children to appropriate church services and activities. It is equally important that the things taught to them at church are reinforced in the home.

 

The parent should also see themselves as the primary educator of their children. Although the Bible is silent concerning the mode of education (whether it be private school, public school, or home schooling), the Bible makes it very clear that the parent is to shape the mind of their child helping them to see the world through the light of scripture.

 

Finally, the parent is also responsible for sharing the gospel with their unbelieving children. Since all children start out as unbelievers, all children need to repent and believe in Jesus. The parents can do their part by teaching their children the meaning of salvation, by loving them in a Christ-like way, and by taking their children to church so they can see the gospel at work.

 

Family Pastor

The family/youth/children’s pastor should see themselves as primarily an equipper of the parents to disciple their children and secondarily as a discipler of their children. He is to be both a pastoral leader to and a servant of the families in the church. He will provide resources for parents and children. He will provide group and individual discipleship to parents and children. He will provide counsel for families in need. He will facilitate programs, events, conferences, retreats, etc. that will bring families together and will fulfill the goals of the family/youth ministry.

 

Finally, this pastor is responsible for equipping families to reach out to unchurched and unbelieving families. Parents are to reach out to parents and are to encourage their children to reach out to their peers. The Family Ministry of the Church will help to reinforce this through outreach events, local mission projects, regional mission projects, and overseas mission projects.

 

Children/youth workers

Workers should have a basic knowledge of the Bible and a passion for children/youth. Workers should be flexible and available to meet a variety of needs as they come up, but  the gifting and passion of volunteers will be made use of as much as possible . The children/youth workers are the “parents” when the children are away from their parents. This is especially true for those children/youth whose parents are not members of the church. When a child comes to church without a parental guardian, the workers are to assume responsibility for the ministry, behavior, and safety of that child.

 

They also will commit to being trained when training is available so that they will know how to meet the individual needs of a child/youth that are unique to the age group they’re working with.

 

Children

My hope is to lead all involved to love, care for, and to share the gospel with all children (regardless of race, background, or special needs). This includes teaching children to come to church with the right attitude. A right attitude sees church as a time to learn about God.  We will also lead the children to know what it is like to serve other children and the church in general. And finally, we hope to lead the children to lead others to faith in Christ.

 

Programs should be designed to meet all of the above goals. Furthermore, programs will be centered on the family as a whole. Therefore all programs should encourage parent participation. Since the program serves the children and not the other way around, they should always be reevaluated, tweaked, or done away with and replaced with programs that better serve the children and the objectives that are already in place. (This includes the nursery, as I see nursery time- at least for 2 to 4 year olds as being a time to teach the children about God in a way that is appropriate for their age.)

 

Youth

The parents, the youth, and the church are to view middle (and especially) high school aged students as adults-in-training. Although they are still emotionally developing at this stage, they are able to take responsibility for their actions and to serve the church. 

As they show evidence of their salvation and show maturity in faith, they will be given more and more responsibilities in the church. The hope is that by the time the youth graduates from high school, they will be ready and willing to integrate into the adult life and adult ministries in the church.

 

Special Issues

 

Childhood Conversion: A child’s conversion is the most important event to take place in their life. I was converted at the age of 7, and my wife accepted Christ when she was 6. However, we believe it is important that children truly understand the gospel before they are baptized and accepted into membership of the church.

 

Therefore, when a child makes a decision to accept Christ, I want to personally council with them before they are baptized and accepted into membership. I also want to council with the parents, so they understand the importance of their child’s decision and that they understand the Biblical definition of salvation.

 

Family Counseling: The Bible has many competitors in the ‘market’ of family counseling. The church should respond by renewing its efforts to place the Bible in the center of family counseling. I will do this by encouraging all those who are interested in family counseling to become trained and certified in biblical counseling.  In general, the parents will be taught the difference between biblical and unbiblical approaches to counseling.

 

Children’s Church: Since the parent is the primary discipler of their children, it will be up to them as to whether or not the church does a children’s church. It will be my responsibility to inform the parents of the pros and cons of doing children’s church (as opposed to keeping them in the main service). The other adults in the church should not look down upon parents who choose to keep their children in the service, rather they should encourage them and help them.